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But Forgiving Myself Is So Hard...


"Oops!"


All of us are familiar with this expression within the English language. It means that we made a mistake. Mistakes are natural parts of our growth can be one of the best teachers. We cannot run from making them, no matter how much we strive to control our environment.


But then, there are some mistakes that are detrimental to our goals and future success. Sometimes, in a moment of weakness, tiredness, or frustration, we do or say things that damage our reputation, family members or friendships to the point of being irreparable. It can feel like we are the worst persons on earth. It's those times when we feel like we want to run under a rock and hide so that no one sees our folly. We tell ourselves that we should have known better or done better. How could we be so stupid, silly, rash, or careless? Negative thoughts race through our minds like wild horses.


We become the judge and the sentencing jury. We are the bailiff who forcefully removes us from the courtroom and into the holding cell. Then, we are the prisoners. We place ourselves in this mental prison because of our own self-condemnation and self-criticism. The prison cell we create is because sometimes we can find it so hard to forgive ourselves. I've been there.



In moments like these, when we're drowning in sorrow and self-pity within these mental prisons, I want us to remember that we actually have the keys. God gave us the keys when He gave us His truth.

This is the word of God. One scripture has the power to pull us out of the prison in the same way that one key unlocks a door.


I remember once that the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 washed over me like the flood of light that engulfs a room when you draw back the curtains. The truth is that I do not have to pursue being perfect because God's grace is enough for me in my weaknesses. When I held on to this truth, I felt true freedom. I forgave myself.


As Christians, we are blessed. God's love for us is overwhelming. His grace is unending. His redemption is refreshing. His forgiveness is liberating.


Reflection Questions

  1. What is the truth in my situation?

  2. Is there anything in my life that I need to forgive myself?




Kerry-Ann McPherson

Project Manager and Managing Editor, VBD Magazine


댓글 4개


익명 회원
2022년 4월 08일

Thanks Kerry! So true, how we condemn ourselves to the worst outcomes. But yes what a blessing it is to have God's Word and His presence to free us in those times and help us towards recovery, in spite of the damage done.


One of my verses of encouragement is Psalms 3:3 - "But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high."


Let's let God lift our heads up out of the shame.


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익명 회원
2022년 4월 08일
답글 상대:

What a beautiful testimony and scripture Abi. He's the one who lifts our heads up high. Not to mention when we're battling shame. We don't have to walk around with our heads held down. Thank You Jesus!

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익명 회원
2022년 4월 07일

This is an awesome post. Love the anology that you gave regarding how we put our own selves in prison. It is a sad reality. Lord help us to use your word for our complete deliverance and liberation.

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익명 회원
2022년 4월 07일
답글 상대:

Hi Chrisan! Thank you. That analogy came from first hand experience. I felt like I was watching everything unfold--although I was very present in the entire process. It can be so crushing. But thank God we have the keys. Can you think of any scripture that helped you through a dark time?

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